Just the right thing...

Have you ever come into contact with someone who can say just the right thing to cause you to fall apart? That happened to me today. I thought I had grown invincible, impermeable to this person, I had all my guards up. I was ready. However, the phone rang, and I saw this person's name just after I opened my phone to answer.
Sneak attack at its worst.
I was hostile and cold at first, it was easy.
Then, in passing, he mentioned something that hardly had to do with me at all, and the first tear rolled down my cheek. Funny, all day I had been musing over that fact that I had not cried over the end of things with us. And, really, that's not why I was crying at this point either. I've never tried to break contact with someone because we had a dysfunctional friendship (my personal term). I've never broken contact with someone like that before, at least not since I was old enough to remember. Especially someone I had originally spent so much time with, then all of a sudden, BOOM! none at all.
It was not even all that hard for me. Ignore phone calls, block on messenger, delete from facebook. Easy. I got along fine that way. Saw him in class, no big deal.
I would answer a call once in a while, long enough to see what he wanted, tell him things to make him stop calling, that's it.
Well, the problem at hand is this:
I don't know how long to break contact. At what point is it okay, healthy to start fresh, as friends, seeing each other only briefly? How long do you wait? Or is it a never thing? It sounds like he's learned his lesson; is that even possible?
Did we have anything before? Was it all a bunch of lies, infatuation, attraction, and nothing more? Those moments that seemed so special...how....why?

What is being in love anyway?

ugh.

Plus, I have yet to touch that freakin' paper.
This is not a good day. Tomorrow needs to be better.
It will be.


Oh, and another thing: Something I hate more than any other feeling in the world (almost, anyway) is feeling weak and helpless and confused, especially all at once. I hate feeling weak. I hate it so much. I love feeling like a strong, capable, confident woman; I love being that woman. I have felt like that woman for a while now, and all of a sudden, WHAM!, I fall apart from one harmless phone call.
*sigh*
Okay. Now it's back to being a writer...