Theater syllabus reads, and I quote, "FINAL EXAM 8-10 AM; Let's meet here at 8:30AM."
Sarah was there at 8:30 AM, after studying til 2:30AM and waking up at 6:30-7:30AM.
And some freakin' weird bunch of electrical engineers was in there, and they all looked at her funny, including the teacher, while she realized what the eff had just happen.
Oh, just wait it gets better. I told Ammar to wake up Faisal 'cause we're in the same class...he didn't yell at me, but I think it's cause he feels sorry for me, which is a big deal coming from Faisal.
I'm upset, not only because of my stressing/study session last night and getting up early, but I was so eager to get theater finished. Sure, I have more time to study, that's not what I want at all...I want it to be OVER, Gone! Plus, I had my whole day figured out: I was going to annihiliate the theater test, go to dance & do my final composition, have lunch, work on spanish & go to class, work on my english portfolio, then RELAX. Then tomorrow, all I'd have to do would be turn in my portfolio.
Now what am I going to do? Maybe relax until dance, dance my final composition, lunch, spanish, rest/study, go take the effing test, then work on the portfolio...but I'm doubting I'll still be functioning propely by then given how early I woke up.
Had BK for breakfast--jealous aren't you?
Studying and "studying" last night, at least before I came home, was ok/almost enjoyable.
And the end of the year Dinner for the IHOP was pretty sweet...it brought back memories of the first IHOP Dinner...<3 For those of you who don't know, that's when my amazingly wonderful boyfriend and I first kissed and made plans for our first date.
Last night until midnight was fun, then it just got stressful and depressing...see why I never use caffiene?
Oh well. Relaxing time for now. TTFN, ta ta for now
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
For better or worse
For better or worse, I'll be the head lifeguard at Peterkin this summer as soon as I pass the certification test again.
woot woot
woot woot
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Finally.
I think I feel better, finally. Took long enough.
I realized something yesterday. The only reason I did so much lifeguarding last summer was because I wanted to earn money for Italy. Now I realize that Italy is unrealistic. Plus, I'd rather go somewhere that I could make a difference; where I could help someone. If nothing else, Italy at least has enough tourism to keep there little economy goin' for a while. Besides, one girl can't keep the whole country from sinking! haha.
Sigh. I don't know where I should be.
I always have felt like I want to be a counselor at Peterkin, since the very first summer I went to Peterkin. However, I despise the thought of lifeguarding, saying I could even pass the test at this point, which I'm highly doubting. Plus, in that case, Daisy still terrifies me. Yikes.com.
I just want to be a counselor, but I'm afraid they'd much rather have me as a lifeguard, mostly because 1--they need one, and 2--they don't necessarily need more girl counselors. Oy vey. to be a boy! *sigh
I would love every moment of being a regular counselor. I know this. I don't care if I never get enough sleep and am up to my neck in munchkins. As long as I don't have to worry about them dying and it being my fault and Daisy killing me after I get sued for the kid's death and Peterkin dying after being sued.
Yeah.
That's kinda what I'm dealin with right now.
Plus, mom worries too much about stuff, especially me. She worries about my loans. They;re my loans, I'll take care of them eventually, I know I will. She doesn't need to worry about it. I'll deal with it. She thinks I don't take anything serious, and I'm afraid my grades might show that even more this semester. That worries me. I hate disappointing people. So much. = (
And I can hardly hear my own music over whatever stupid crap my roommate is listening to...I had to take off my headphones because I could still hear this horrible dull roar of something stupid and mind-numbing. I need solitary confinement for like a week. or six.
Lord save me.
Sarah with a n H.
Oh, wait. Hold up. I forgot something. Ammar, my sweet boy. *sigh* I don't know how we're going to live without each other all summer, although there are tentative plans to visit and whatnot. Still, one week or 3 weeks is painfully slow, I can't even imagine 3 months. Oy. Plus, he never understands concepts like still being dependent on my family, or being so close to my family, or a bagillion other things. I adore him so much. I still fervently believe that the only reason we've been able to survive this long without each other is because we had no idea what we were missing. Alas, something will work out; it always does.
Right now I'm gonna find a quiet spot to chill and find something to eat, and hope it doesn't hurt my tummy. Then I'm gonna go to Sociology like a good girl. And then try to work something out with a play & Spanish extra credit (both of which are pretty much necessities, and ironically, both of which occur at more or less the same time.).
Fun stuff.
<3 style="font-size:130%;">||||
I realized something yesterday. The only reason I did so much lifeguarding last summer was because I wanted to earn money for Italy. Now I realize that Italy is unrealistic. Plus, I'd rather go somewhere that I could make a difference; where I could help someone. If nothing else, Italy at least has enough tourism to keep there little economy goin' for a while. Besides, one girl can't keep the whole country from sinking! haha.
Sigh. I don't know where I should be.
I always have felt like I want to be a counselor at Peterkin, since the very first summer I went to Peterkin. However, I despise the thought of lifeguarding, saying I could even pass the test at this point, which I'm highly doubting. Plus, in that case, Daisy still terrifies me. Yikes.com.
I just want to be a counselor, but I'm afraid they'd much rather have me as a lifeguard, mostly because 1--they need one, and 2--they don't necessarily need more girl counselors. Oy vey. to be a boy! *sigh
I would love every moment of being a regular counselor. I know this. I don't care if I never get enough sleep and am up to my neck in munchkins. As long as I don't have to worry about them dying and it being my fault and Daisy killing me after I get sued for the kid's death and Peterkin dying after being sued.
Yeah.
That's kinda what I'm dealin with right now.
Plus, mom worries too much about stuff, especially me. She worries about my loans. They;re my loans, I'll take care of them eventually, I know I will. She doesn't need to worry about it. I'll deal with it. She thinks I don't take anything serious, and I'm afraid my grades might show that even more this semester. That worries me. I hate disappointing people. So much. = (
And I can hardly hear my own music over whatever stupid crap my roommate is listening to...I had to take off my headphones because I could still hear this horrible dull roar of something stupid and mind-numbing. I need solitary confinement for like a week. or six.
Lord save me.
Sarah with a n H.
Oh, wait. Hold up. I forgot something. Ammar, my sweet boy. *sigh* I don't know how we're going to live without each other all summer, although there are tentative plans to visit and whatnot. Still, one week or 3 weeks is painfully slow, I can't even imagine 3 months. Oy. Plus, he never understands concepts like still being dependent on my family, or being so close to my family, or a bagillion other things. I adore him so much. I still fervently believe that the only reason we've been able to survive this long without each other is because we had no idea what we were missing. Alas, something will work out; it always does.
Right now I'm gonna find a quiet spot to chill and find something to eat, and hope it doesn't hurt my tummy. Then I'm gonna go to Sociology like a good girl. And then try to work something out with a play & Spanish extra credit (both of which are pretty much necessities, and ironically, both of which occur at more or less the same time.).
Fun stuff.
<3 style="font-size:130%;">||||
Monday, April 16, 2007
LIVE.
God leaves us alive for a reason, and i don't believe it's to torture us.
why not rejoice & try to make life a little better while we're here?
That's it.
why not rejoice & try to make life a little better while we're here?
That's it.
Prayerful and thoughtful.
The Virginia Tech thing is really terrifying. Isn't horrible how sometimes we (or maybe I) feel like I need some disaster to take place before I remember to look for God?
It is. However, sometimes life is like that.
Perhaps this would be more meditative & deep if I hadn't given up skipping sociology. Alas.
More to muse over later I suppose.
The overall somberness didn't sink in until about an hour ago when my mom called...
and y'all wonder why it is I'd rather do something where I feel like I'm making a difference rather than some boring job translating a paper from one language to another. geez.
This world needs all the help it can get.
Another thing...I can't stand people who are drama whores and/or callous.
As always, I shall expand later.
It is. However, sometimes life is like that.
Perhaps this would be more meditative & deep if I hadn't given up skipping sociology. Alas.
More to muse over later I suppose.
The overall somberness didn't sink in until about an hour ago when my mom called...
and y'all wonder why it is I'd rather do something where I feel like I'm making a difference rather than some boring job translating a paper from one language to another. geez.
This world needs all the help it can get.
Another thing...I can't stand people who are drama whores and/or callous.
As always, I shall expand later.
Friday, April 13, 2007
PS
Ps Later I will vent and elaborate on the jealousy and the competitve tendencies of the male species that are so revolting to me.
All of you.
All of you.
Pushing those deadlines.
So much has been going on lately that I believe myself to be on the edge of insanity (not that I was a completely well-grounded (a word?) person to begin with).
I honestly think that something about my persona just attracts chaos...and I don't even know why/how. If you don't believe me, look at my roommate. (those her know her promptly laugh,or nod their heads in agreement).
I feel like a magnet for trouble, which is the same type of magnet (you know, the kind that repel each other) except something, these end up meeting eventually...which is not meant to happen. (if that doesn't make any sense, ignore it).
So now i have 1.5 hours to complete my multi-genre research paper...whicch basically means i am screwed. Well, only kind of.
But I still feel the need to mention a few things.
I am absolutely fascinated by culture. <3 style="font-family: lucida grande; font-style: italic;">Culture impermeates your entire being, it saturates your skin, your nails, your hair.
I.E.'s
My Arab boyfriend had little one-on-one or individual exposure/experience with having girls as friends. In his country, everything is segregated. The only girls he has any contact with are cousins, sisters, and his mother. The same works with girls over there. So, sure, he'll tell me that it's okay to have guy friends, but he still has trouble completely grasping the concept. And, to be honest, unless he actually finds good friend who is a girl, he won't ever really completely understand the concept.
And, of course, it helps that both of my close guy friends have had issues with blurring that line, or have at least 'fessed up to having feelings beyond the best friend level. (*oy*).
It also helps that we live in the same house and spend a lot of time together, and we sort of become addicted to each other. (I've been there before, but I feel like this is deeper than that, but then again, perhaps that's my living in denial haha). We we leave for holidays, we suffer. We undergo this incomparable loneliness that feels completely unbearable. We live each moment for the moment we see each other again. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm not that attached. However, then I realized how attached I was last time.....and how I feel this is so much better, so close to perfect in a not-so-perfect world. And, my friends, that is exactly when I feel I've run intothat fun place. Yes, I love everything about it & never want it to change...but also I wish it weren't so difficult when we are apart too.
Especially since we'll be apart this summer for a much longer period of time than we've experienced yet. The closest we've gotten to 3 months, in this sense, is 3 weeks. haha. And, let me inform you, that those three weeks were torturous. I missed his face, his voice, his eyes, his smile, his conversation, his arms around me...everything. Computers and phones just simply can't make up for even one really perfect hug.
I love him so much. It's really difficult being with him sometimes. It sometimes seems as if everytime we work out one little issue, 3 more pop up for us to fix. Aside from all the random nonsense that pops up, there's just the plain fact that he is a Muslim from Saudi Arabia, and I am a Christian from the U.S.A. Sometimes it feels as if everyone decides that means we shouldn't be together; we have no future. However, I ask you, doesn't true love overcome all trials?
So far, in spite of all the chaos we've undergone, we are still together, and we still adore each other and trust each other as much as ever. We're gonna suck it up this summer, and make it through. I mean, come on...if nothing else, we'll still be in the same country, right?*sigh* Besides.....one of the coolest things about being separated so long is the incomparablely amazing, exhilarating feeling, the rush, you get when you finally see his face, his eyes, his smile again. After Christmas, that was so...purifying, refreshing, amazing.
Alright enough self-centered rambling along these lines for the moment. I swear I'll have a little more time after today.........I hope!
the one and only,
sarah with an H.
ps I will elaborate on the H factor eventually...when the time comes.
I honestly think that something about my persona just attracts chaos...and I don't even know why/how. If you don't believe me, look at my roommate. (those her know her promptly laugh,or nod their heads in agreement).
I feel like a magnet for trouble, which is the same type of magnet (you know, the kind that repel each other) except something, these end up meeting eventually...which is not meant to happen. (if that doesn't make any sense, ignore it).
So now i have 1.5 hours to complete my multi-genre research paper...whicch basically means i am screwed. Well, only kind of.
But I still feel the need to mention a few things.
I am absolutely fascinated by culture. <3 style="font-family: lucida grande; font-style: italic;">Culture impermeates your entire being, it saturates your skin, your nails, your hair.
I.E.'s
My Arab boyfriend had little one-on-one or individual exposure/experience with having girls as friends. In his country, everything is segregated. The only girls he has any contact with are cousins, sisters, and his mother. The same works with girls over there. So, sure, he'll tell me that it's okay to have guy friends, but he still has trouble completely grasping the concept. And, to be honest, unless he actually finds good friend who is a girl, he won't ever really completely understand the concept.
And, of course, it helps that both of my close guy friends have had issues with blurring that line, or have at least 'fessed up to having feelings beyond the best friend level. (*oy*).
It also helps that we live in the same house and spend a lot of time together, and we sort of become addicted to each other. (I've been there before, but I feel like this is deeper than that, but then again, perhaps that's my living in denial haha). We we leave for holidays, we suffer. We undergo this incomparable loneliness that feels completely unbearable. We live each moment for the moment we see each other again. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm not that attached. However, then I realized how attached I was last time.....and how I feel this is so much better, so close to perfect in a not-so-perfect world. And, my friends, that is exactly when I feel I've run intothat fun place. Yes, I love everything about it & never want it to change...but also I wish it weren't so difficult when we are apart too.
Especially since we'll be apart this summer for a much longer period of time than we've experienced yet. The closest we've gotten to 3 months, in this sense, is 3 weeks. haha. And, let me inform you, that those three weeks were torturous. I missed his face, his voice, his eyes, his smile, his conversation, his arms around me...everything. Computers and phones just simply can't make up for even one really perfect hug.
I love him so much. It's really difficult being with him sometimes. It sometimes seems as if everytime we work out one little issue, 3 more pop up for us to fix. Aside from all the random nonsense that pops up, there's just the plain fact that he is a Muslim from Saudi Arabia, and I am a Christian from the U.S.A. Sometimes it feels as if everyone decides that means we shouldn't be together; we have no future. However, I ask you, doesn't true love overcome all trials?
So far, in spite of all the chaos we've undergone, we are still together, and we still adore each other and trust each other as much as ever. We're gonna suck it up this summer, and make it through. I mean, come on...if nothing else, we'll still be in the same country, right?*sigh* Besides.....one of the coolest things about being separated so long is the incomparablely amazing, exhilarating feeling, the rush, you get when you finally see his face, his eyes, his smile again. After Christmas, that was so...purifying, refreshing, amazing.
Alright enough self-centered rambling along these lines for the moment. I swear I'll have a little more time after today.........I hope!
the one and only,
sarah with an H.
ps I will elaborate on the H factor eventually...when the time comes.
Monday, April 9, 2007
सो, वंस अगिन, लाइफ मेक्स अ लिटिल मोरे सेन्स.
सो, ई'वे बीन फीलिंग किन्दा वेइर्द लातेल्य, ऎंड ई हद त्रौब्ले फिन्दिंग आउट व्ह्य।
लास्ट निघ्त इत "काम" तो मे।
प्म्स।
हाहा। अत लीस्ट माय्बे। इत'एस अ गूढ़ स्टार्ट, इफ नोथिंग एल्स.
लास्ट निघ्त इत "काम" तो मे।
प्म्स।
हाहा। अत लीस्ट माय्बे। इत'एस अ गूढ़ स्टार्ट, इफ नोथिंग एल्स.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
New Blog Remixxx--warning...serious length.
So yesterday was Good Friday & tomorrow is Easter Sunday. Today we decorated eggs--& my hands will never again be the normal, glow-in-the-dark white they used to be. I actually have a finger with a blue outline & orange as a base. It's pretty sweet. *scrunches nose*
Right now I'm insanely overwhelmed. I should be doing anything else except for this, so consider yourselves lucky. = p
Homework = uber chaotic. I might even make a list/schedule on here, simply for my own sake, so don't mind it if I do. Life is driving me crazy right now.
Spiritually, I'm not where I should be. Why? Oh, the plethora of reasons! Schoolwork, keeping scholarships, holding grudges against roommates, trying to spend appropriate amount of time with my family & friends & boyfriend, my messy room leading to more chaos, odd sleep patterns due to the roommate issue & everything else, the difficulty of finding alone time, the difficulty of getting to church, the pressure of trying to find out what to do with my life.
Secretly being afraid to take a deep breath, close my eyes and let God tell me what's up because I'm afraid what I might discover.
When I'm not spiritually-balanced, the rest of my life falls a p a r t. I am a liberal, tree-huggin' feminist, Episcopalian.
I am a Christian girl who likes to be spontaneous & have fun, while still having that perfect dose of Tradition to keep her in line.
When I lose that, I become enveloped in a downward spiral of gloom, stress, and [perhaps] failure. I freak out on my friends, & maybe family, & I just kind of shrug to God & say, "Please forgive me; give me a chance to make it up to you later." Once I get my life back, once I finish studying for this test, or writing this paper.
Well, that's the thing, folks: God should always be there, even if good grades aren't; even if I can't watch that movie with that friend, or go shopping with this one (ps--I never go shopping with friends!?!).
I keep telling myself, telling everyone I know, "Yeah, life's pretty rough right now; but I'm a tough cookie; I can handle it."
Then, if I happened to not get myself so overtired that I drop dead asleep, late at night, when everything is quiet, I start to worry about all the things that I haven't done; should have done; need to do; or wish I'd done. Then at some point, I remember--or perhaps can no longer deny--that God exists, & is still ready for me to break down, & confess everything, to admit that I, Sarah, the Tough Cookie, need help.
So then I break down & sob for a while, maybe I have a shoulder to cry on, or maybe it's just God with me, it varies. I soon feel guilty for being angry and stressed...face it; it's mostly my fault. I can't deny that. God and I know that sure, the roommate is a problem, but in the end, it's me who's running from my problems. Just Sarah. Sarah who would rather play than do something that could make a difference in her life. Sure, the girl wants to explore the globe, but she'd rather order a pizza from Domino's & watch Prison Break, curled up next to her boyfriend. Not go to Italy & eat real Italian food, & enjoy a romantic ride in a gondola.
WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD.
Suck it up and get going. You want to go to Italy, you're going to have to work harder than you've ever worked before. Yes, it's going to hurt, yes, you're going to get scars, but you'll live. And you can show off those scars when you're traveling to hot, exotic countries and making a difference.
Besides, if nothing else, you have food to eat--even if it is the Bistro, you have a mediocre bed to sleep in, and a roof over your head. You have God. You have churches. You have a wonderful family that loves you no matter what. You have great, intelligent friends who support everything you do. You have an amazing boyfriend who cares about you. And, say what you will, you have an education, and the opportunity to further it. And, most of all, you can make a difference.
Why are you whining?
Okay, I think I'm ready to study for Sociology, finally, and work on my papers. I needed this.
Sorry if any readers died from...boredom or confusion.
I'll explain the H Factor another time, and it will all make a little more sense then.
= )
Thanks for hearin' me out!
Sarah with an H.
Right now I'm insanely overwhelmed. I should be doing anything else except for this, so consider yourselves lucky. = p
Homework = uber chaotic. I might even make a list/schedule on here, simply for my own sake, so don't mind it if I do. Life is driving me crazy right now.
Spiritually, I'm not where I should be. Why? Oh, the plethora of reasons! Schoolwork, keeping scholarships, holding grudges against roommates, trying to spend appropriate amount of time with my family & friends & boyfriend, my messy room leading to more chaos, odd sleep patterns due to the roommate issue & everything else, the difficulty of finding alone time, the difficulty of getting to church, the pressure of trying to find out what to do with my life.
Secretly being afraid to take a deep breath, close my eyes and let God tell me what's up because I'm afraid what I might discover.
When I'm not spiritually-balanced, the rest of my life falls a p a r t. I am a liberal, tree-huggin' feminist, Episcopalian.
I am a Christian girl who likes to be spontaneous & have fun, while still having that perfect dose of Tradition to keep her in line.
When I lose that, I become enveloped in a downward spiral of gloom, stress, and [perhaps] failure. I freak out on my friends, & maybe family, & I just kind of shrug to God & say, "Please forgive me; give me a chance to make it up to you later." Once I get my life back, once I finish studying for this test, or writing this paper.
Well, that's the thing, folks: God should always be there, even if good grades aren't; even if I can't watch that movie with that friend, or go shopping with this one (ps--I never go shopping with friends!?!).
I keep telling myself, telling everyone I know, "Yeah, life's pretty rough right now; but I'm a tough cookie; I can handle it."
Then, if I happened to not get myself so overtired that I drop dead asleep, late at night, when everything is quiet, I start to worry about all the things that I haven't done; should have done; need to do; or wish I'd done. Then at some point, I remember--or perhaps can no longer deny--that God exists, & is still ready for me to break down, & confess everything, to admit that I, Sarah, the Tough Cookie, need help.
So then I break down & sob for a while, maybe I have a shoulder to cry on, or maybe it's just God with me, it varies. I soon feel guilty for being angry and stressed...face it; it's mostly my fault. I can't deny that. God and I know that sure, the roommate is a problem, but in the end, it's me who's running from my problems. Just Sarah. Sarah who would rather play than do something that could make a difference in her life. Sure, the girl wants to explore the globe, but she'd rather order a pizza from Domino's & watch Prison Break, curled up next to her boyfriend. Not go to Italy & eat real Italian food, & enjoy a romantic ride in a gondola.
WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD.
Suck it up and get going. You want to go to Italy, you're going to have to work harder than you've ever worked before. Yes, it's going to hurt, yes, you're going to get scars, but you'll live. And you can show off those scars when you're traveling to hot, exotic countries and making a difference.
Besides, if nothing else, you have food to eat--even if it is the Bistro, you have a mediocre bed to sleep in, and a roof over your head. You have God. You have churches. You have a wonderful family that loves you no matter what. You have great, intelligent friends who support everything you do. You have an amazing boyfriend who cares about you. And, say what you will, you have an education, and the opportunity to further it. And, most of all, you can make a difference.
Why are you whining?
Okay, I think I'm ready to study for Sociology, finally, and work on my papers. I needed this.
Sorry if any readers died from...boredom or confusion.
I'll explain the H Factor another time, and it will all make a little more sense then.
= )
Thanks for hearin' me out!
Sarah with an H.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
"Good" Friday.
I am upset.
I am an American Christian (Episcopalian) dating a Saudi Muslim, and I have only known him for a little over 7 months, but I feel like we've known each other forever. He's so good to me, and I love talking to him and being around him.
So I was talking to my mom and she kept basically telling meI'd be happier with a Christian boy. And it makes me really upset because I value her judgement & her opinions, but I want to accept my boyfriend.
I am so depressed right now. The weather doesnt help.
So I give up on this entry, because why not.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Oh human nature
Isn't it interesting how hesitant we are to tell one another our feelings and thoughts? And yet, I am so eager to know those of other people. For instance, if I did not have a boyfriend, and I liked a boy, I would probably be hard-pressed to actually say anything to said boy. However, even if I have a boyfriend, I don't exactly mind hearing that a boy likes me. So vain, those silly human creatures. "Oh, you like me? No way!" (aka--tell me again, tell me again!).
Or we say, "Oh I'm so [ugly, fat, dumb] just to see how many times people will say, "No so&so, you're not [ ]."
We're hideous creatures sometimes. More hideous because we hide behind the shield of ignorant modesty. We play it off like it's not some sort of problem. After all, we are raised learning to have a high self-esteem, to become successful, to take care of our bodies.
Oh, you silly humans.
Next. I love my friends so much. I saw two at church that I didn't expect to see, and it completed my day. Isn't it amazing how one instant you can be depressed, scared, nervous, and disappointed, then the next be anxious, slightly more calm, and content?
God fascinates me with these peculiarities.
I am in a state of sweet euphoria right now. I think I'm going to enjoy it a little longer.
<3 style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">PS. The Best Part of My Day = "Heck, I could tell you right now your mind is one of the most beautiful that I have ever seen."
Monday, March 19, 2007
Yesterday's sermon rang true for me...
Yesterday's sermon was about the prodigal son. I have always fancied myself as the good girl who does what she's told. So, I can relate to the son who stays home & works in the field all day and is loyal to his father the whole time.
I sometimes feel I am stuck with the prodigal roommate (of course no offense intended). Last night / yesterday I felt like I was temporarily okay with our tragic coexistence. She is hysterical at times. And she has a good heart. It's just that we aren't compatible roommates, I think.
Anyway the focus of the sermon was the danger of resentment.
It really is almost as deadly as envy itself. I resent the fact that I feel like no matter how much I try to be the good roommate, she doesn't care or try to do the same.
But the thing is, it's almost over, at least for a week.
So I'm going to suck it up and forgive and forget for right now.
And hope that I physically feel better soon.
Solemn and Sore
Sarah.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Talk about a headache.
Don't ask why, but I've had a headache for at least 6-8 hours straight and no matter what I do it won't go away.
I ate food, I rested & tried to relax, tried to watch a movie, and took a tylenol, tried to sleep, and took a shower, i.e. I stood there and let the hot water pour over my head for 15-20 minutes.
Why me?
On another shorter note, I like the fact that at just the right angle, I can let water pour over my head, over my hair, & over my ears. It sounds like rain on a tin roof, & I can't hear anything else.
And now I feel sick. Ps I also think I've officially gained my freshmen fifteen, on my second semester.
I hope it goes away really, really soon.
gnite.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Oh My Goodness
So yesterday pretty much sucked royally because of several things. A terrible tummy ache, stress, and psychosis.
So in Islam, there's something called temporary marriage, where you can marry someone (since sex without marriage is taboo) for a certain amount of time, and if you decide that this person is the one you want to stay married to, you can make it official later.
My silly boy teases me a lot, and it really confuses me. He will tell me something really super serious, and I'll wait for the punchline. It's horrible. But it used to go the other way around. He told me something, acting like it's really really serious. I'd buy into it, he'd wait a few minutes, then he'd say, just kidding.
So last night, when he "proposed" to me downstairs in the laundry room, after I was trying to get over my killer tummy ache & deal with the stress from exams, I didn't think he was serious. He jokingly proposes to me all the time. We had never seriously discussed the temporary marrige thing. And he hasn't even officially met my father. I would at least expect that he would want to meet my father first.
But apparently he was serious. He didn't think I would say yes, but he also didn't think that I wouldn't take him seriously.
So then I felt really terrible.
And then I went to sleep.
And now it's raining, but my room is swelteringly hot.
But it's raining. and I'm hungry. and I feel like crap.
I hate college.
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