So, I feel a little better about the lifeguard thing already since I worked on some of the strokes today.
I need to stop using "So," to start a statement...it's pretty juvenile, and lame.
Umm...I feel deprived of my favorite boys right now, although I definitely did catch up on some girl time this weekend, which is nice considering most of college socializing, aside from attempting to ignore my roommate, involved boys.
I'm frustrated right now, for several reasons, but I don't want to tell you all why. That doesn't help my frustration much at all. bummer.
Do you know how awesome it is to think about someone thinking about you at least once a day? It's pretty sweet. Do you know how devastating it is when the someone thinking about you finds someone else to think about? pppssshhh
whatev.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
A little about lo-ove.
First, I would just like to say that seeing my Danielle & my Christa this weekend has been amazing. I love them soooooooo much. When played clown golf, went to coldstone, watched lots of House, played cards, watched Drive Me Crazy, swam, ate, ate, ate, (haha), and talked a lot. <3 I am so glad those two kids were brought into my life. I honestly don't even know where my life would be without them, especially considering what a horrible year 6th grade turned out to be. yikes. I'm so glad I've met them. I know that they are the kind of friends I'll never forget, because they're always going to be my friends! <3
And then some.
I lied.
That's all that goes here, my faithful readers.
The rest should go to an email to the person who needs it...<3
ttfn!
Sarah with an H.
P.S. My big test day for lifeguarding is one week from yesterday, June 3rd. Please think about me that day, and pray for me. It's the one thing that I need in order to be the b.a. lifeguard at Peterkin this year, and it's something that kind of worries me, whether the worries are necessary or not. I have CPR & AED and all that stuff...all I need are the saves...<3 Think about me that sunday! thanks!
And then some.
I lied.
That's all that goes here, my faithful readers.
The rest should go to an email to the person who needs it...<3
ttfn!
Sarah with an H.
P.S. My big test day for lifeguarding is one week from yesterday, June 3rd. Please think about me that day, and pray for me. It's the one thing that I need in order to be the b.a. lifeguard at Peterkin this year, and it's something that kind of worries me, whether the worries are necessary or not. I have CPR & AED and all that stuff...all I need are the saves...<3 Think about me that sunday! thanks!
Friday, May 25, 2007
2 very brief PS's.
1-I watch the Aristocats today, and it made me very happy.
2-The fact that Ammar was impressed by the cleanliness of my room makes me really happy too!
2-The fact that Ammar was impressed by the cleanliness of my room makes me really happy too!
Psychosis and such.
Sometimes I am at such a loss when it comes to understanding my mother. I love her dearly, but geez. I sat around trying to psycho-analyze her one night, and it was a little scary (cue audience laughter). It's one of those things where you know she's been through a lot in her life, and it's really taken a tole (sp?) on her. Sometimes I completely understand why she acts the way she does, but I have no idea how to fix it. And sometimes she just shocks the hell out of me, and I can't figure out anything.
Amidst my mother's psychosis, I've been becoming stunningly domestic lately. *dies laughing* And by stunningly domestic, I mean boldly attempting extreme cleaning, gardening (aka removal/taming of tropical parasitic weeds), very mild/low-maintenance(bad sp for sure) cooking, lots & lots of laundry (oy!), and attempting to keep my uber-comfy bed made everyday. woohoo! Seriously, as soon as I "move out," my bed is goin' with me! <3>am turning into my OCD Cleaning-Crazy mother???? *shrieks* (but considering my favorite way to clean my own room is putting everything in random drawers & under my bed, I think there's hope for me yet!).
5--There are people out there who have never and will never clean a toilet or pull a weed.
No really, take a minute to think about that.
I cannot even imagine such a thing...(yes, I know this is quite a rant. I hate to admit it, but I was having some rather deep thoughts while on my cleaning escapades yesterday.). Bear with me, and you might find something worthwhile soon.
My family (with my assistance of course) put in our/their own drywall to make the rooms in our house. Everything from taking out the old walls to buying the new walls, to putting up the new ones, to sealing & sanding, and painting them. We even did the ceilings--and yes, there were certainly some life-threatening moments involved before we knew about a handy little machine to keep the heavy drywall from flattening us like pancakes. No one in my family is an expert on these things, they've only learned from trying and watching home-remodeling shows and stuff like that.
It was weird, and almost creepy, but as I knelt down to clean the bathroom floor, I honestly thought to myself, "I am glad I am someone competent enough to clean her own toilet." Go ahead and laugh, but there are people with paychecks smaller than Paris Hilton's who can't do that. (because we would obviously expect Miss Paris to NOT know how to do that, of course). Isn't that crazy to contemplate? Or what do you do when you have a water leak?
What happens when a demonic, evil, sadistic, terrible blood-sucking cockroach of death, doom, and destruction is staring at you upside-down on your kitchen ceiling? (okay, so I personally, being phobic and whatnot, was not quite competent enough to tackle that flesh-devouring beast, but my mommy did!).
I know how to survive. I don't need someone else to do these things for me...it's amazing the things I have learned to do on my own.
Even if they don't have to, I'm going to make sure my kids are prepared like that too.
Wow.
What a tangent. I apologize...see why I am such a slacker when it comes to cleaning? Bad things happen when Sarah is equipped with tasks and no thoughts to occupy her.
Anyway,
to prove that I am not a socially-incompetent reclusive maniac (put cleaning in there somewhere), I have other adventures to tell.
Ammar took me out to El Mariachi last night. For those of you who somehow missed the memo (Oh, Office Space!), El Mariachi is my favorite restaurant in Parkersburg, and quite possibly the world. I adore the people who work there and the food, and the music, and the language, and the atmosphere. Yes, I know, practically swooning, let's move on, shall we? *sigh* It was really really cool to hang out with Ammar (with fewer time contraints). It was such a novelty to have him in Parkersburg! I love it. It kind of made me feel like it's more official now. (ha). Plus, once he found my house (I told him GPS would have issues with my little red house! haha), he got to see it! He saw my room (no dirty jokes) and met my cats. You laugh unless you have a cat you love, but this was a big deal for me. I absolutely adore my cats, especially my evil black cat Dink, who we've had ever since I started going to Peterkin (she's an old-timer of at least 14-15+ years now!). It was kind of like meeting my family, except I didn't do a sucky introduction this time. (ooooops. heh).
PS...Dink didn't growl in protest when meeting him--a good sign! hahaha
So, we both had a reeeeeally good time. It was amazing. <3>
And My Danielle & my Christa are coming in today.
I am soooo excited.
Sorry it's so insanely long...<3
Sarah with an H.
Amidst my mother's psychosis, I've been becoming stunningly domestic lately. *dies laughing* And by stunningly domestic, I mean boldly attempting extreme cleaning, gardening (aka removal/taming of tropical parasitic weeds), very mild/low-maintenance(bad sp for sure) cooking, lots & lots of laundry (oy!), and attempting to keep my uber-comfy bed made everyday. woohoo! Seriously, as soon as I "move out," my bed is goin' with me! <3>am turning into my OCD Cleaning-Crazy mother???? *shrieks* (but considering my favorite way to clean my own room is putting everything in random drawers & under my bed, I think there's hope for me yet!).
5--There are people out there who have never and will never clean a toilet or pull a weed.
No really, take a minute to think about that.
- No dirt under the fingernails from pulling onions and weeds from the flowerbed.
- No dishpan hands (or unloading dishwashers).
- No evil bug bites from working outside after sunset.
- No sneezing from dust, dust, and more dust that's been collecting everywhere.
- No sorting laundry, figuring out which load goes where or how to fold the towels.
I cannot even imagine such a thing...(yes, I know this is quite a rant. I hate to admit it, but I was having some rather deep thoughts while on my cleaning escapades yesterday.). Bear with me, and you might find something worthwhile soon.
My family (with my assistance of course) put in our/their own drywall to make the rooms in our house. Everything from taking out the old walls to buying the new walls, to putting up the new ones, to sealing & sanding, and painting them. We even did the ceilings--and yes, there were certainly some life-threatening moments involved before we knew about a handy little machine to keep the heavy drywall from flattening us like pancakes. No one in my family is an expert on these things, they've only learned from trying and watching home-remodeling shows and stuff like that.
It was weird, and almost creepy, but as I knelt down to clean the bathroom floor, I honestly thought to myself, "I am glad I am someone competent enough to clean her own toilet." Go ahead and laugh, but there are people with paychecks smaller than Paris Hilton's who can't do that. (because we would obviously expect Miss Paris to NOT know how to do that, of course). Isn't that crazy to contemplate? Or what do you do when you have a water leak?
What happens when a demonic, evil, sadistic, terrible blood-sucking cockroach of death, doom, and destruction is staring at you upside-down on your kitchen ceiling? (okay, so I personally, being phobic and whatnot, was not quite competent enough to tackle that flesh-devouring beast, but my mommy did!).
I know how to survive. I don't need someone else to do these things for me...it's amazing the things I have learned to do on my own.
Even if they don't have to, I'm going to make sure my kids are prepared like that too.
Wow.
What a tangent. I apologize...see why I am such a slacker when it comes to cleaning? Bad things happen when Sarah is equipped with tasks and no thoughts to occupy her.
Anyway,
to prove that I am not a socially-incompetent reclusive maniac (put cleaning in there somewhere), I have other adventures to tell.
Ammar took me out to El Mariachi last night. For those of you who somehow missed the memo (Oh, Office Space!), El Mariachi is my favorite restaurant in Parkersburg, and quite possibly the world. I adore the people who work there and the food, and the music, and the language, and the atmosphere. Yes, I know, practically swooning, let's move on, shall we? *sigh* It was really really cool to hang out with Ammar (with fewer time contraints). It was such a novelty to have him in Parkersburg! I love it. It kind of made me feel like it's more official now. (ha). Plus, once he found my house (I told him GPS would have issues with my little red house! haha), he got to see it! He saw my room (no dirty jokes) and met my cats. You laugh unless you have a cat you love, but this was a big deal for me. I absolutely adore my cats, especially my evil black cat Dink, who we've had ever since I started going to Peterkin (she's an old-timer of at least 14-15+ years now!). It was kind of like meeting my family, except I didn't do a sucky introduction this time. (ooooops. heh).
PS...Dink didn't growl in protest when meeting him--a good sign! hahaha
So, we both had a reeeeeally good time. It was amazing. <3>
And My Danielle & my Christa are coming in today.
I am soooo excited.
Sorry it's so insanely long...<3
Sarah with an H.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Worth it.
After all the chaos, the headaches, and the tears, it was still worth it for 2 perfect hugs and a 45 minute conversation.
But it would have been worth it for one hug.
But two was even better.
And next time, I'll utilize la lengua as well.
hahaha ; )
7abibi. <3
But it would have been worth it for one hug.
But two was even better.
And next time, I'll utilize la lengua as well.
hahaha ; )
7abibi. <3
Monday, May 14, 2007
Boys are nothing but trouble.
At this moment, virtually every issue I am dealing with involves someon of the male species, or Who is typically given a male pronoun.
Numero Uno is the One & Only: God. I feel like I am far away from God right now, and I can't explain it at all. Church? Check. Communion? Check. Praying? Pretty much Check. I just feel so distant right now. I don't know why. But I have a guess or two...?
I used to think it was because I held so much resentment against my roommate, but perhaps that was only part of it.
Dos: Ammar. I absolutely adore him. I would not change a thing about him because he is such a wonderful person. Yes, I do admit we are terribly addicted to each other to the point that we were suffering withdrawal within minutes of our final separation. But, we're tough cookies & we can survive 3 whole months without each other, I have faith in that. But, my pwn personal problem is that maybe I am putting Ammar before God. Wow. A large part of me wants to erase that and pretend it never existed. What if it is true? Ammar always says to me, "We are one; you are me." Well if that is true, why do I take precedence over God, why does Ammar take precedence over God? Maybe instead of thinking about Ammar for every lap I swim, I should talk to God instead and not worry about how many laps it ends up being. I think I will do that today.
The thing is though, I feel like when I talk to God, this is about how my conversation is dry. I feel like I'm just saying things so that God doesn't get mad at me, sort of like trying to appease a parent, you know? ha, ha. I kind of smirked when I wrote that--I never made the connection quite that way before. hm.
"[insert deep sigh here] God I know this is not the person you created me to be. I know this is not how Jesus would act, nor is this the way you want me to act. I don't really know exactly what I am doing wrong, but I sincerely do feel the need for some serious introspection and input from You. I need YOU, not Ammar. I need You. You are part of me today as much as You have been every other day, every other year of my life. Jesus is still part of who I am. I still see You and Your work through others. I still love You. I know that You stilll love me. I need You to help me remember what it is like to live to serve You. I have been thinking that I will automatically become spiritually renewed once I get to Peterkin, but I still have a lot of time left, and I should not waste a single moment that You have so graciously given me. I am so sorry that I feel I have wasted this much time.
But, thank you for giving me another chance.
Sarah."
Numero Uno is the One & Only: God. I feel like I am far away from God right now, and I can't explain it at all. Church? Check. Communion? Check. Praying? Pretty much Check. I just feel so distant right now. I don't know why. But I have a guess or two...?
I used to think it was because I held so much resentment against my roommate, but perhaps that was only part of it.
Dos: Ammar. I absolutely adore him. I would not change a thing about him because he is such a wonderful person. Yes, I do admit we are terribly addicted to each other to the point that we were suffering withdrawal within minutes of our final separation. But, we're tough cookies & we can survive 3 whole months without each other, I have faith in that. But, my pwn personal problem is that maybe I am putting Ammar before God. Wow. A large part of me wants to erase that and pretend it never existed. What if it is true? Ammar always says to me, "We are one; you are me." Well if that is true, why do I take precedence over God, why does Ammar take precedence over God? Maybe instead of thinking about Ammar for every lap I swim, I should talk to God instead and not worry about how many laps it ends up being. I think I will do that today.
The thing is though, I feel like when I talk to God, this is about how my conversation is dry. I feel like I'm just saying things so that God doesn't get mad at me, sort of like trying to appease a parent, you know? ha, ha. I kind of smirked when I wrote that--I never made the connection quite that way before. hm.
"[insert deep sigh here] God I know this is not the person you created me to be. I know this is not how Jesus would act, nor is this the way you want me to act. I don't really know exactly what I am doing wrong, but I sincerely do feel the need for some serious introspection and input from You. I need YOU, not Ammar. I need You. You are part of me today as much as You have been every other day, every other year of my life. Jesus is still part of who I am. I still see You and Your work through others. I still love You. I know that You stilll love me. I need You to help me remember what it is like to live to serve You. I have been thinking that I will automatically become spiritually renewed once I get to Peterkin, but I still have a lot of time left, and I should not waste a single moment that You have so graciously given me. I am so sorry that I feel I have wasted this much time.
But, thank you for giving me another chance.
Sarah."
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Delilah
PLAIN WHITE T'S LYRICS
"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
3 months to go
You wanna know one of the coolest things ever? I have to go 3 months without seeing Ammar.
Yeah, that's right, I said coolest thing ever, and here's why: every time we're away from each other, it's absolute torture. It's painful, frustrating, depressing, stressful, etc. However, every time we see each other after going without, it's like meeting each other again for the first time, only waaaaaaaaaaaaay better. It's like our feelings have intensified by multiple powers (oh math class).
So here our 3 months begins. I was going to say that 3 months doesnt sound like that long, but every way i think to compare it, it does!
At any rate, I love him and treasure him, but we get kind of like a not-fun 3 month vacation. But, if we're reeeeeeally lucky, we'll hav "conjugal visits" as we've deemed them, every once in a while. I hope so.
He is so special to me.
Peterkin is too, and I'm kind of excited and anxious...we'll see how this summer goes.
goodnight everyone.
Yeah, that's right, I said coolest thing ever, and here's why: every time we're away from each other, it's absolute torture. It's painful, frustrating, depressing, stressful, etc. However, every time we see each other after going without, it's like meeting each other again for the first time, only waaaaaaaaaaaaay better. It's like our feelings have intensified by multiple powers (oh math class).
So here our 3 months begins. I was going to say that 3 months doesnt sound like that long, but every way i think to compare it, it does!
At any rate, I love him and treasure him, but we get kind of like a not-fun 3 month vacation. But, if we're reeeeeeally lucky, we'll hav "conjugal visits" as we've deemed them, every once in a while. I hope so.
He is so special to me.
Peterkin is too, and I'm kind of excited and anxious...we'll see how this summer goes.
goodnight everyone.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
"Who's transferring power now?"
I was upset about this certain girl who always upsets me...and yeah, I know, it's only because I let her.
But then Ammar told me this thing about sort of lik a transfer of power between "enemies." And so I started to feel better and was amazed by his way of making me calm during any situation. Then I suddenly kissed him really hard and said, "Who's transferring power now?" Then I grinned and felt silly.
But it amused me. And then, in payment for all the times Ihave tummy aches and he takes care of me, I got to take care of him last night, for once. Yay.
But unfortunately, now I have mucho estudiando para espanol to do. My E key is not working very well, this angers me.
Love,
Sarah
But then Ammar told me this thing about sort of lik a transfer of power between "enemies." And so I started to feel better and was amazed by his way of making me calm during any situation. Then I suddenly kissed him really hard and said, "Who's transferring power now?" Then I grinned and felt silly.
But it amused me. And then, in payment for all the times Ihave tummy aches and he takes care of me, I got to take care of him last night, for once. Yay.
But unfortunately, now I have mucho estudiando para espanol to do. My E key is not working very well, this angers me.
Love,
Sarah
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