Pushing those deadlines.

So much has been going on lately that I believe myself to be on the edge of insanity (not that I was a completely well-grounded (a word?) person to begin with).
I honestly think that something about my persona just attracts chaos...and I don't even know why/how. If you don't believe me, look at my roommate. (those her know her promptly laugh,or nod their heads in agreement).
I feel like a magnet for trouble, which is the same type of magnet (you know, the kind that repel each other) except something, these end up meeting eventually...which is not meant to happen. (if that doesn't make any sense, ignore it).
So now i have 1.5 hours to complete my multi-genre research paper...whicch basically means i am screwed. Well, only kind of.

But I still feel the need to mention a few things.

I am absolutely fascinated by culture. <3 style="font-family: lucida grande; font-style: italic;">Culture impermeates your entire being, it saturates your skin, your nails, your hair.

I.E.'s
My Arab boyfriend had little one-on-one or individual exposure/experience with having girls as friends. In his country, everything is segregated. The only girls he has any contact with are cousins, sisters, and his mother. The same works with girls over there. So, sure, he'll tell me that it's okay to have guy friends, but he still has trouble completely grasping the concept. And, to be honest, unless he actually finds good friend who is a girl, he won't ever really completely understand the concept.

And, of course, it helps that both of my close guy friends have had issues with blurring that line, or have at least 'fessed up to having feelings beyond the best friend level. (*oy*).

It also helps that we live in the same house and spend a lot of time together, and we sort of become addicted to each other. (I've been there before, but I feel like this is deeper than that, but then again, perhaps that's my living in denial haha). We we leave for holidays, we suffer. We undergo this incomparable loneliness that feels completely unbearable. We live each moment for the moment we see each other again. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm not that attached. However, then I realized how attached I was last time.....and how I feel this is so much better, so close to perfect in a not-so-perfect world. And, my friends, that is exactly when I feel I've run intothat fun place. Yes, I love everything about it & never want it to change...but also I wish it weren't so difficult when we are apart too.

Especially since we'll be apart this summer for a much longer period of time than we've experienced yet. The closest we've gotten to 3 months, in this sense, is 3 weeks. haha. And, let me inform you, that those three weeks were torturous. I missed his face, his voice, his eyes, his smile, his conversation, his arms around me...everything. Computers and phones just simply can't make up for even one really perfect hug.

I love him so much. It's really difficult being with him sometimes. It sometimes seems as if everytime we work out one little issue, 3 more pop up for us to fix. Aside from all the random nonsense that pops up, there's just the plain fact that he is a Muslim from Saudi Arabia, and I am a Christian from the U.S.A. Sometimes it feels as if everyone decides that means we shouldn't be together; we have no future. However, I ask you, doesn't true love overcome all trials?
So far, in spite of all the chaos we've undergone, we are still together, and we still adore each other and trust each other as much as ever. We're gonna suck it up this summer, and make it through. I mean, come on...if nothing else, we'll still be in the same country, right?*sigh* Besides.....one of the coolest things about being separated so long is the incomparablely amazing, exhilarating feeling, the rush, you get when you finally see his face, his eyes, his smile again. After Christmas, that was so...purifying, refreshing, amazing.

Alright enough self-centered rambling along these lines for the moment. I swear I'll have a little more time after today.........I hope!

the one and only,
sarah with an H.

ps I will elaborate on the H factor eventually...when the time comes.