"Good" Friday.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

"Good" Friday.

I am upset.

I am an American Christian (Episcopalian) dating a Saudi Muslim, and I have only known him for a little over 7 months, but I feel like we've known each other forever. He's so good to me, and I love talking to him and being around him.

So I was talking to my mom and she kept basically telling meI'd be happier with a Christian boy. And it makes me really upset because I value her judgement & her opinions, but I want to accept my boyfriend.

I am so depressed right now. The weather doesnt help.

So I give up on this entry, because why not.

Posted by Sarah C at 9:59 AM

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Oh human nature

Isn't it interesting how hesitant we are to tell one another our feelings and thoughts? And yet, I am so eager to know those of other people. For instance, if I did not have a boyfriend, and I liked a boy, I would probably be hard-pressed to actually say anything to said boy. However, even if I have a boyfriend, I don't exactly mind hearing that a boy likes me. So vain, those silly human creatures. "Oh, you like me? No way!" (aka--tell me again, tell me again!).

Or we say, "Oh I'm so [ugly, fat, dumb] just to see how many times people will say, "No so&so, you're not [ ]."

We're hideous creatures sometimes. More hideous because we hide behind the shield of ignorant modesty. We play it off like it's not some sort of problem. After all, we are raised learning to have a high self-esteem, to become successful, to take care of our bodies.

Oh, you silly humans.


Next. I love my friends so much. I saw two at church that I didn't expect to see, and it completed my day. Isn't it amazing how one instant you can be depressed, scared, nervous, and disappointed, then the next be anxious, slightly more calm, and content?

God fascinates me with these peculiarities.


I am in a state of sweet euphoria right now. I think I'm going to enjoy it a little longer.
<3 style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">PS. The Best Part of My Day = "Heck, I could tell you right now your mind is one of the most beautiful that I have ever seen."

Monday, March 19, 2007

Yesterday's sermon rang true for me...

Yesterday's sermon was about the prodigal son. I have always fancied myself as the good girl who does what she's told. So, I can relate to the son who stays home & works in the field all day and is loyal to his father the whole time.

I sometimes feel I am stuck with the prodigal roommate (of course no offense intended). Last night / yesterday I felt like I was temporarily okay with our tragic coexistence. She is hysterical at times. And she has a good heart. It's just that we aren't compatible roommates, I think.

Anyway the focus of the sermon was the danger of resentment.

It really is almost as deadly as envy itself. I resent the fact that I feel like no matter how much I try to be the good roommate, she doesn't care or try to do the same.
But the thing is, it's almost over, at least for a week.

So I'm going to suck it up and forgive and forget for right now.

And hope that I physically feel better soon.

Solemn and Sore
Sarah.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Talk about a headache.

Don't ask why, but I've had a headache for at least 6-8 hours straight and no matter what I do it won't go away.
I ate food, I rested & tried to relax, tried to watch a movie, and took a tylenol, tried to sleep, and took a shower, i.e. I stood there and let the hot water pour over my head for 15-20 minutes.

Why me?


On another shorter note, I like the fact that at just the right angle, I can let water pour over my head, over my hair, & over my ears. It sounds like rain on a tin roof, & I can't hear anything else.


And now I feel sick. Ps I also think I've officially gained my freshmen fifteen, on my second semester.

I hope it goes away really, really soon.
gnite.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Oh My Goodness

So yesterday pretty much sucked royally because of several things. A terrible tummy ache, stress, and psychosis.

So in Islam, there's something called temporary marriage, where you can marry someone (since sex without marriage is taboo) for a certain amount of time, and if you decide that this person is the one you want to stay married to, you can make it official later.

My silly boy teases me a lot, and it really confuses me. He will tell me something really super serious, and I'll wait for the punchline. It's horrible. But it used to go the other way around. He told me something, acting like it's really really serious. I'd buy into it, he'd wait a few minutes, then he'd say, just kidding.

So last night, when he "proposed" to me downstairs in the laundry room, after I was trying to get over my killer tummy ache & deal with the stress from exams, I didn't think he was serious. He jokingly proposes to me all the time. We had never seriously discussed the temporary marrige thing. And he hasn't even officially met my father. I would at least expect that he would want to meet my father first.

But apparently he was serious. He didn't think I would say yes, but he also didn't think that I wouldn't take him seriously.
So then I felt really terrible.

And then I went to sleep.

And now it's raining, but my room is swelteringly hot.

But it's raining. and I'm hungry. and I feel like crap.

I hate college.