Finally.

I think I feel better, finally. Took long enough.

I realized something yesterday. The only reason I did so much lifeguarding last summer was because I wanted to earn money for Italy. Now I realize that Italy is unrealistic. Plus, I'd rather go somewhere that I could make a difference; where I could help someone. If nothing else, Italy at least has enough tourism to keep there little economy goin' for a while. Besides, one girl can't keep the whole country from sinking! haha.

Sigh. I don't know where I should be.

I always have felt like I want to be a counselor at Peterkin, since the very first summer I went to Peterkin. However, I despise the thought of lifeguarding, saying I could even pass the test at this point, which I'm highly doubting. Plus, in that case, Daisy still terrifies me. Yikes.com.

I just want to be a counselor, but I'm afraid they'd much rather have me as a lifeguard, mostly because 1--they need one, and 2--they don't necessarily need more girl counselors. Oy vey. to be a boy! *sigh

I would love every moment of being a regular counselor. I know this. I don't care if I never get enough sleep and am up to my neck in munchkins. As long as I don't have to worry about them dying and it being my fault and Daisy killing me after I get sued for the kid's death and Peterkin dying after being sued.

Yeah.

That's kinda what I'm dealin with right now.

Plus, mom worries too much about stuff, especially me. She worries about my loans. They;re my loans, I'll take care of them eventually, I know I will. She doesn't need to worry about it. I'll deal with it. She thinks I don't take anything serious, and I'm afraid my grades might show that even more this semester. That worries me. I hate disappointing people. So much. = (

And I can hardly hear my own music over whatever stupid crap my roommate is listening to...I had to take off my headphones because I could still hear this horrible dull roar of something stupid and mind-numbing. I need solitary confinement for like a week. or six.

Lord save me.


Sarah with a n H.

Oh, wait. Hold up. I forgot something. Ammar, my sweet boy. *sigh* I don't know how we're going to live without each other all summer, although there are tentative plans to visit and whatnot. Still, one week or 3 weeks is painfully slow, I can't even imagine 3 months. Oy. Plus, he never understands concepts like still being dependent on my family, or being so close to my family, or a bagillion other things. I adore him so much. I still fervently believe that the only reason we've been able to survive this long without each other is because we had no idea what we were missing. Alas, something will work out; it always does.

Right now I'm gonna find a quiet spot to chill and find something to eat, and hope it doesn't hurt my tummy. Then I'm gonna go to Sociology like a good girl. And then try to work something out with a play & Spanish extra credit (both of which are pretty much necessities, and ironically, both of which occur at more or less the same time.).
Fun stuff.

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