Dream

Last night's dream was messed--scratch that--effed up. It was a really intense dream, and I don't remember the details, but I remember feeling very frustrated--to the point of tears.

Ammar didn't want to kiss me. I learned how to say "Kiss me now" and "Kiss me again" in Arabic recently, so every time I want a kiss, I say it. In the dream, every time I said it, he wouldn't do it. I got really frustrated. Apparently this is where I turned into a lesbian? Yeah, told you it was effed up. The girl I was kissing looked like my new roommate, but her name was Darci (who Ammar knows). We started kissing each other in the campus bookstore (bizarre) and she wasn't into it (I think she was ashamed of it/me. So I pushed her away as a guy was stopped right beside us gawking at us. I told her I didn't think it was working out--while she stared hungrily at the guy, proving that she wasn't 100% lesbian, which made me feel betrayed--and then she immediately hooked up with guy who said something about the Carribbean...

Then I was on my bed & Ammar was trying to tell me some story, all casual like, but I was still upset about him not wanting to kiss me. I rolled on my other side and squeezed my eyes shut. He then asked his typical, "What's wrong sweetheart?" and I wouldn't tell him...or I yelled about him not wanting to kiss me...I can't remember which.

Then I was on my bed again with my friend Autmun's mom. We were talking about all the crap I was going through that day, and I asked her what to do or something, and she told me she didn't know what to tell me cause that day she just learned that her whole section of her company was being fired. I was really sad for her, and I was going to pray for her & her family when she said another thing. Something about, but that didn't really happen, but I say it did so it won't tomorrow. I was so angry that everyone keeps taking advantage of my gullability. I was sooo mad. I walked around after that, into a kitchen where I pounded on the counter where there were no-bake cookies. My friend Autumn was there, and I was trying to only act angry, not sad, when in reality I was absolutely crushed and heart-broken.



I told you it was effed up.

What a way to start my first morning of school. Can't wait. (ugh) Although I think I already like my roommate more than last year, obvi (lol).
Gotta get ready. Hasta luego.

Sarah