Friday, September 28, 2007

Still no sanctuary

I like that I mostly have the room to myself, but I still feel like I'm not at home in it.

I feel like I want somewhere quiet and peaceful where I can be meditative, and even cry if I need to, but I don't think I have such a place at the moment.

I feel far from home.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hold that head high, babe.

Today is a good day, I can already feel it, which is awfully funny considering my room is 25 degrees hotter than it is outside and I'm going to 5 classes today (bad karma for missing 2 yesterday).

Nevertheless, today is beautiful.
The weather outside is splendid--warm and breezy without being too hot.
3 out of 5 classes are out of the way.
I'm going to a tae kwondo class today, or else I'll end up failing tae kwondo--and that would just suck.

I had a very nice not-a-nap on my bed before religion class.
She mentioned Episcopalians in religion class today. . .
unfortunately is was followed by "another possible schism."
  • Side note to my fellow Episcopalians out there: anyone else think it's funny that our leaders are called "primates?" (I totally think it's hilarious!)
Umm. Oh, saw a bunch of people on the street that I knew and don't particularly like today. Well, it's not even that as much as they don't like me. I shudder to think about the thoughts they think as they walk past me. However, as I said, this is a GOOD DAY, therefore, I jammed to "Renegade" by the Styx (again, my brother and his fantastic music collection), held my head high, smiled, and strutted past them all, because I know that my day is great, as is my life.

Today is such a good day!

I have letters and thank you notes that I've been procrastinating something fierce. I ought to get on that. But then you know what I'm gonna do? Enjoy life a little bit more. = ) I feel sooo fine today!
One of those days where I love being a woman, just because. And I didn't even have to get as dressed up to feel this way either.
I'm in love.
_________________________________________________________________

Edit: So, I thought my make-up tae kwondo class was at 5, but it's at 6. That means I definitely just walked up 90 stairs for NO GOOD REASON!!! booo. I'm am not a fan of this nonsense! However, I'm still having a good day. And, my mommy sent me 2 pairs of flip flops in the mail.
No, she doesn't spoil me, not at aaaaalllllll! = )

Clearly, I'm sporting the hot pink flip flops to tae kwondo. (don't worry, I don't annihilate my opponents wearing them, though I'd be twice as hardcore if I did! )

Still Sarah (always!), still in love, and loving life!

Monday, September 24, 2007

***Lot of hatin', and lots of lovin'!***

  • I hate being lonely.
  • I hate how all of my close friends (who aren't ex-boyfriends) live miles and miles and hours and hours away.
  • I hate how bad I am at self-motivation when it comes to schoolwork/studying.
  • I hate how I still don't know what to do with my life.
  • I hate how I feel boring.
  • I hate how I am boring.
  • I hate how I've completely fallen for someone who lives hours and hours away.
    • okay, maybe that's only a kind of hate thing. . .
  • I hate how my family has to figure out how to deal about the car thing.
  • I hate how I sat down to watch a movie on my laptop by myself, realized the movie was about a cable guy with no friends, realized it was too close to home, and turned it off.
  • I hate how I feel like an emo kid right now.
  • Even my mommy has better things to do than talk to me right now.
    • That statement makes me feel even more pathetic than I already am.
  • I hate how I have nothing better to do than sit here making a hate list.


I need a love list too.
  • I love how my internet has magically picked up spell-check!
  • I love being in love.
  • I love loving people.
  • I love dates.
  • I love kisses.
  • I love teasing.
  • I love new adventures.
  • I love intelligent conversations.
  • I love shared secrets.
  • I love innuendos and double entendres.
  • I love late-night phone calls.
  • I love fabulous massages.
  • I love peace hugs.
  • I love Starbursts.
  • I love letters.
  • I love sitting in romantic, secluded spots with someone special.
  • I love having arms around me.
  • I love cuddling.
  • I love my friends.
  • I love my family. A lot.
  • I love God.
  • I love going to Eucharist.
  • I love how just hearing my religion professor say the word "Eucharist" today made me smile.
  • And, finally, I love how everything is okay, even if I'm lonely, and I love that my love list is longer than the hate list.

Satisfied Sarah.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A fiiiine lunch date. Yes, a real date, at last!

Today was the most beautiful day I've had in a very long time. I'm not sure what that means, at this moment, but I know that I learned a lot, taught a lot, and had a lot of fun.

And got one damn good massage, too! Immobilizing, numbing, and healing. Oh, it was one of my favorite parts of the day.

God is still [and always] good.
And I love my family more than anyone can ever understand.

A perfect sarah.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Of Mice & Men

John Steinbeck wrote a wretched novel--wretched because of the ending, and wretched because of the way I cried after I finished it. Alas, after today, the only phrase that comes to my mind is from the opening of that damn book. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

I had well-sculpted plans for today. I was up at 6:42 and ate Hamburger Helper for breakfast--yes, it's certainly the strangest thing I've ever had for breakfast. Especially considering that there were waffles in the fridge as well. So, Anyway, I eat this nonsense, hoping to finish before my mom or dad walks in--not because I'll be in trouble, but because I know that it is so incredibly bizarre that I'm eating that for breakfast! So, dad catches me, and of course tells mom, and they both kind of make fun of me for a while. It's all good still. I showed mom my sweet pictures of ducks & crazies in Morgantown, and we talked for a bit. Then we decided to go to Wally-World. I drove, and it was no big deal, except we were there forever. So, we eventually get home, and I hurry up, hop into the shower, get dressed in something rather attractive (wink wink = P), do my hair, even put in earrings! I finally am ready to head out the door.
I can get the stupid ipod thingy in the "The Beast/The Exploder/The Explorer," then Chuckie helped me.

I got in the car. I drove less than 1/4 mile. My Propel bottle fell to the floor, and it made a loud noise, so I glanced down, for just a mere second, and I looked up again, after feeling a huge bump, and then I noticed I was staring at serious foliage! Everywhere I looked, green vines surrounded me! Oh shit! And I slammed on the brakes. Eventually, I climbed out of the car, getting scratched a lot, and I walk to the back to discover that there is a HUGE LOG behind my car!!!! No wonder I couldn't back up!

In the end everything worked out.

It was scary, but it's ok.

I'm very glad I'm alive and no one and nothing got hurt.
God is very good to me.
Sarah

Damn that log.

Today Sarah flew, for the 2nd time in her life, first time flying without knowledge of doing so.

Today Sarah screwed up big time, but got off lucky, very lucky.

Today Sarah flew over the biggest log she's ever seen, lived to tell about it, and her car might have too, but we're not sure.

Sarah is okay, and she's really glad.
It could have been soooo much worse.
Although it totally screwed up plans for today, but that's okay. We'll work something out.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

More pictures b/c they make me happy!


This is my favorite I think.
It's the crazy sea captain.
I like him.
I think that's his bike too.


1--I totally walked past this building one WITHOUT NOTICING IT! Woah. 2--Ten points if you find what does not belong! 3--1000 points if you can tell me why it's orange!


Okay, this crazy nut is totally worth a story, but I'll tell it at the bottom of the next picture.


Oh, the resolution is sooo bad! It's a shame. Okay, so this guy is like an older, chubbier version of Steve Erkel. He is apparently impaired in at least a few ways. He tapped me on the shoulder and scared the crap out of me. Anyway, so I saw this dude again, and while I was trying to get his picture, HE SAW ME! Then he did this crazy skilled pantomine of taking a picture and yelled at me, but I was scared and ran away from him.
This is a much less dramatic version of the story, but you get the idea.

Sarah

Monday, September 17, 2007

Found those USB cords, so here's a treat.

Random


This is the button I sewed on my pants all by myself, next to the hole I fixed by myself! = )

Setting the Scene

This is a CRAZY amount of foliage. Can we say overgrown?



This is a sweet park. Many ducks, dogs, and humans are quite fond of it.


Mr.Quackers


It's hard to tell, but this crazy thing is the size of a small/medium size dog & is ugly as hell!


Aren't they precious? = P
Action Shots!


Yours Truly...in action. = p


One more.


These guys sat here for over an hour, just chillin'.


Hardcore In-Line Skating!


This guy kind of made me sad. = / He looked about as lonely as I had felt earlier.


You tell me what the devil this thing is!


Run, Forrest, Run!!!



This is a much better shot than this pic shows, it really was a sweet action shot.


Story time: So this is a new restaurant, right? I'd never seen it. There was this woman in the window and she was standing really really still. Well, I kept looking at her, because I thought, maybe since it was new, it might not be open yet, maybe it was a manniquin or something. After about 5 minutes of staring, I decide this is the case, and I totally have to get a picture. THEN SHE MOVED!!!! Upon which I said, "Oh, shit, she's alive!!!!" and promptly left the premises!


I have a few more awesome pictures, but I'll have to upload them later.
Your crazy Sarah

PS Maybe (if I remember) I'll talk about how sweet this walk was, personally. Nice me time.

thoughts for today

  • Today sucked, but it's okay, cause tomorrow will be better (eternal optimist, what? = P )
  • I had a walk today & it was good.
  • My brother has decent taste in music, but don't tell him.
  • Something Corporate, Plain White Tee's, and Iron&Wine are fantastic.
  • A Grown-up, chubby version of Steve Erkel was stalking me. Yikes.
  • I took lots of pictures that I can't load onto Rafael until I find a USB cord.
  • My ipod will also not last much longer without a USB cord--and I looked for the damn thing again today, and still have yet to find it.
  • I got a B- on my religion test today, and I am Very Content with it!!!! = )
  • I am a damn fine woman.
  • I will never avert my eyes from a man without a damn good reason.
  • I do not need anyone except myself.
  • However, I do love my friends.
  • God is good.

Love
Sarah

And another thing, I love driving, and as my mom says, to stop me, you'll have to pry the keys out of my cold dead hands! Can't stop me bitches!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

New Face.

I needed a new look for this baby.

Oh, And I've decided that as soon as I find my USB cords for my camera (how much does it suck that I just now found a battry charger, but don't have a USB cord?), I'm going to put pictures of my dorm room up...once I clean it! = P You know me. . .

I need my cord for my ipod too...the battery is running low, and that simply will not do.

I am very tired, and tired of stress. I have 2 psycho-crazy tests this week...And I'm not sure when my next English paper is due...I'd better figure that out soon.

There are lots of weird feelings going on inside me right now...they do not aid the stress. I love things I'm feeling, in a way, but I'm afraid that they might take me in a direction that will hurt someone, myself or others. Especially since I'm not really sure what direction my life is heading at the moment.

Umm....so, I think I'm going to study I guess. All the words for the Thursday test are African (O.O) and Friday is a Spanish test (o.O).
I'm scared.

Not as scared as I was while watching Halloween though--I was a basketcase, curled up in a ball, biting my fingers and everything, trying not to scream. It was BAD.

Much love,
More details later,
Sarah.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Defiant Bitch Mode.

I apologize, but I feel the need to rant about something that I have noticed...no one really told me any of this, but issues with other certain groups of people I've come into contact with recently made me feel the need to rant about stuff...

I am Sarah. This is my body, not yours. You may not tell me what to do with it. In fact, how dare you tell me what to do with it, or what to wear, or how to present/hide it. I'll be damned if I EVER feel ashamed for showing skin. Sure, I don't want to be a slut, but I totally have the right to do so, if I so desire, and YOU cannot tell me otherwise.

I don't wear tank tops so that guys will look at me and fall into sin. Hell, if that's all I've got to do to make them fall into sin, just imagine the damage I could do if I opened my mouth! I wear what I want to wear when I want to wear, and I do this because I like the way I feel in it. If I'm in a pair of comfy jeans and a hoody, I'm warm & comfy. If I choose a spaghetti-strapped dress that swishes when I move, it's because I love the way I feel in it.

I dress up for me. Anyone else is an added bonus.


And another thing. No one owns me either, ever. God, and only God owns me. Ever. God loves me always, too.

I do solemnly swear that I will do whatever I want, and whatever I believe God wants me to do, from here on out.
Everyone else will just have to suck it up & deal with it.

All of my defiant bitch love,
Sarah with one Solid Strong H.

Monday, September 3, 2007

"Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos."-P.N

I've been reading a few of my favorite Pablo Neruda poems lately. <3>
The man makes my heart melt.
"Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos."--Pablo Neruda
It's my favorite single line from a poem ever, because it's so perfectly poetic and romantic. *sighs*


Anyway...
Yesterday was quite the eventful day, and a good one at that. Mom & I went to Gabe's, were looking around, and suddenly, we turn to see Andrew Beal--stopped dead in his tracks, staring at us. Haha, it was awesome.

I tend to have that effect on men.
*rolls eyes*
Then last night I had a bad dream about Andrew, woke up and thought, "I must have missed him a lot after all!" then I rolled over, fell back to sleep, and forgot the dream completely.

Anyway, that was exciting. We also went out to lunch with my Grandma since I won't be able to tgo to our family reunion next weekend. Then, we had one final game of Clown Golf, where Dad actually won. O.O That never happens. Of course, Comic Relief Sarah (or Caddie as Chuckie called me all day) was annihiliated, defeated, obliterated, crushed, killed, slaughtered, etc, etc, etc. It was unfortunate, but we had a good time. Plus, I did end up getting a hole-in-one. (never mind how many holes I had to "take a 6" on. . . )

I drove most the day, except while Grandma was in the car. I am not that great of a driver, and I surely don't want to give the poor lady a heart attack!!!

I also made an evening trip to the store, with a few slight misadventures in between. Again, unfortunate.

It was a good day. Today, there is a little more shopping in store (oh the puns!), a trip back to motown, some more studying (ha, whatever.), and maybe a few phone calls. <3>

Hasta luego,
your favorite Sarah.